Is two warning equal expulsion?

                                                                                         45 Sokolov Street

                                                                                         Holon, Israel

                                                                                         March 14, 2014

Mrs. Arad

The Principal 
Kugel High School

POB 69875

Holon

Dear Mr. Arad

The phenomenon of disruption in class by the student is very common. Lately I have noticed that you have decided to automatically expelled(gr.) from school the students that will disrupt after the second warning(and what do you think about it? Do you agree ro not?).

In my opinion, expulsion from the school is a very harsh punishment that doesn't justify the actions. There is more than one way to solve this problem, (Start a new sentence) one way to solve this kind of problem is to share the teacher's expectations with the students. meaning(מיותר) (Start a new sentence), the teacher won't assume that children understand the his acceptable version of the lesson(phr.-not clear what you mean). Tapping, shouting, and throwing(what?) could be acceptable at home, but a child needs to have reinforcement of the teacher's expectations.(phr.) 

Moreover, if the teacher can't control one or more students, even though he had worn(sp.+gr.) them, he should understand that there are a(מיותר) different problems and a better solution. If the student gets bored he might be very smart and needs to be fit(ww.) to a higher education(ww.), or if a student needs extra help to study, a close teacher(ww.) might be the answer to his disruption in class. Meaning(מיותר) each of(ww.-and) every student must find his right place where he can give and get the best of him and be a better student that doesn't disrupt.

In conclusion, when a student is disruption(ww.) during the lesson it means that this disruption comes from a reason and it has a solution that fits to(מיותר) the exact(מיותר) problem. Each and every problem has its own solution but when the problem is understandable the solution is very easy to deal with. That is way(sp.) expulsion (of) students because there aren't fit to the right version of education(phr.) is wrong and and needed(gr.-needs) to be more considered.(phr.) 

Yours faithfully,

Jane Mayer

(68)
Daphna

talent vs hard work-correction

Talent vs hard work

Every person has his own talent. Some people develop their talent and become the best at their field. But sometimes people can connect and love other fields without any talent at all.
                                   
I believe that, hard work is the key to everything when a person develops the subject he likes and can connect to it. He will accomplish his goals even though he might wont have talent at all, for example, when a person work hard for something he loves there is no doubt he will succeed.


Moreover, if a person has talent it doesn't mean he will succeed due to his talent. Without hard work no one will be able to accomplish and reach their goals, because "accomplishing goals is 1% talent and 99% hard work", for example, a person who has talent but doesn't do anything with it he absolutely won't succeed.

To sum up, hard work is always the key to success and talent  only makes it easier to accomplish the goals. Talent is only a tool to help us accomplish our goals and succeed is required absolutely hard work.

reflection - all my sons act 3

Reflection:

1.    The difference is that when you are just reading you have to add your own imagination to the action because even when the stage directions are there, you do not know exactly how an actor might interpret that direction. Further, you will find that not hearing someone recite the lines changes the way in which we think about the dialogue and how the actors handle it.

2.    The characters we have the most exposure to are the Kellers. Ann and her brother are minor characters so won't be considered here. I find Kate to be the most interesting. I understand the denial she experiences in accepting Larry's death, but I find it interesting that one of the reasons she refuses to acknowledge he is anything but alive stems from the fact that she doesn't want to place any kind of blame on her own husband. To admit Larry is gone is to admit that her husband is a murderer. She'd had to live with both of these very sad truths, but she doesn't want to. It amazes me that she can do so.

3.    I think you always have to be prepared to read between the lines, so to speak, in this play. Much of the character development relies on the reader's skill interpreting emotions, gestures, and motives of the characters. One example of this is when mother finally wants to get rid of Larry's apple tree by saying there will be, “more light with that thing gone “. She is finally accepting that Larry won't be coming home.

post reading - all my sons act 3

Post Reading:
(If it's a diary entry, you should add a date and the words "dear diary")

1. Today it's finally over. The war is over. Germany has fallen down and we won. I miss my family with my whole heart, my mother, my father and mostly my brother - Larry. It's wired(sp.+ww.) (that) I haven't heard from him for a while, (new sentence) he usually writes to me, maybe he couldn't because he fought in the war too(ww.), I just hope he is fine.  Right now I'm on my way home to my family. I hope the rumors aren't true that my father is guilty for killing 21 pilots because of his business. I know my father, he couldn’t do something like that, and the business isn’t that important to him, he wouldn’t kill my friends(ww.)! I hope it will past(ww.) fast and the court will find him not guilty as charged. In about two hours I will get home and I'm sure that now we can all live as one big old(ww.) family.

2. What is this? A different ending? - You need to specify.

Chris gets the letter from Ann. (New sentence) he would read(gr.) it quietly and then decide(gr.) to not(wo.) show the letter to his father because he knows how much pain it could bring him. So instead(of) letting Joe read the letter, Chris is facing(gr.) Joe and tells him everything he (has) felt inside all this time and telling(gr.) him the truth about how he feels. At the beginning of the conversation they are talking quietly but it’s(מיותר) quickly becomes an argument between them. Joe is trying to defend himself but Chris is not convinced. After a long loud argument, Joe is saying to Chris that he is tired from(ww.) this subject and from digging this up. He is apologizing(gr.) to Chris for everything he has done, including blame(ing)  Ann’s father. Chris, not peace with himself(phr.), is forgiving(gr.) him and folding(gr.) the letter into his pocket. The two are exiting(gr.) and then Chris is entering(gr.) again and we can see him hiding the letter inside his journal as we know it will never be forgotten.

 Not bad work.
(80)
Daphna

All my sons act 3 - Bridging text and context:

Bridging text and context

Arthur Miller's plays address social issues, such as how we deal with the pressures that are put on us by family and society. Recurring themes of his major works include the importance of personal and social responsibility and the danger of moral corruption caused by materialism and greed.

This information adds to my understanding of the play by showing me that the play is dealing with real problems and issues from the real life that's reflected in the play. The information tells about the hard life that people, soldiers and families had to go through the hard life after the war when they had to go to their "normal" life(phr.) but sometimes they had to live their usual life without one or more members from the family. The play reflects the exact situations that families had to go through after the(מיותר) World War 2. - this is too general.You need to start connecting the information you were given to the characters and plot of the play.

In the play Joe, a businessman, made a huge mistake that caused the deaths of 21 pilots. Because of Joe's action - sending broken cylinders, he killed(ww.-caused the death of) his own son - Larry. At the end of the play, Larry's letter is being(מיותר) discovered and the family, for the first time, understands that Larry isn't alive, he killed himself because he couldn't handle with(מיותר) the terrible actions of his father. Larry turns out to be more idealist than Chris who until then considered with the idealist thought(phr.).

Your work is messy and incomplete. You don't relate to the relevant issues in the play. What about Joe's and Chris' conflicting points of view on the issue of social responsibility and the profit Joe made during the war? How did Joe try to excuse his actions? What is the connection to Miller' life? - so much is missing.

(70)
Daphna

A Letter of Complaint - correction

                                                                                                  45 Sokolov Street,                                                                                                                                      Holon, Israel                                           
                                                                                                   October 2, 2013      

Mrs. Smith

The Manager

"Zara"

POB 69875

Tel Aviv

Dear Mrs. Smith,

Recently I have noticed that your store "Zara" has raised its prices by more than 30%. I am writing this letter because I want your understanding about the price raising(phr.) and (that you) see it through your shoppers' point of view. 

Since you opened your clothing store I was immediately amazed by their low prices, their quality and their style. It was always full of people and everybody went shopping there. But lately the store has increased its prices and because of that I can't find any item which is in my price range. Now going shopping for one or two items of clothes make(gr.) me waste my salary of one or two full days(phr.).

Moreover, I am sure you are aware of the face(ww.) that your style of clothing is made for teens, like me. As a result, most of the teenagers can't afford these prices for clothing, especially when we have to pay for other things by our selves without anybody's help, like (a) driving license. Your choice to raise the prices by more than 30% will probably lead to the leaving(phr.) of many shoppers like me because we can't afford that kind of prices on clothing.

To conclude, I will be glad if you consider my suggestion to lower the prices of the clothes like it used to be. Many teens, including me, will appreciate your consideration and thoughtfulness.

Yours faithfully,

Jane Mayer

This is much better. Well done.
(88)
Daphna

Modul G Page 12 - Teens volunteering - correction

Teens volunteering

Students should and can become more involved in their community, but only a few do(gr. - are) . The school can use certain methods like psychology because there are ways that the students will see it(phr.) as something fun and not as a duty.

In my opinion, students can choose what they want to do for their community like, helping old people or Holocaust survivors, by being with them and listen(ing)  to their stories, (New sentence) it may not seems(gr.) importent(sp.) to others but it is very important to those survivors. They can also help kids with their homework, play games in the afternoon with little kids etc.

Moreover, schools can offer rewards for the teens' help in their community. The schools can do(ww.) a contest, (in which) whoever helps and volunteers in the community the most will get a valuable award. This system will motivate them to volunteer and do something good and valuable for their community.

To sum up, students need motivation to help and volunteer. Few of the teens will volunteer by their free willing without getting something in return. It is also important that they love what they do because they won't just do it, they will do it with their heart and soul. 

This is better, but you still haven't mentioned the benefits of volunteering.
(84)
Daphna